Relapse

 

The worst thing that happens is when you start to feel better

You notice that you randomly smile at times

And your head feels peaceful

Just one little nudge will send you back

 

Suddenly you want to fuck it all up

You want to banish everything and everyone

Because you feel like this would be better

Than losing them without having the autonomy of pushing them away yourself

Then I remember I just have to stay calm

Take some steps back

And just wait

For the voice in my head to stop her ranting

 

I have to remember that I am not my depression

These thoughts are not my own

Just wait

Just wait

Just wait

 

Tomorrow everything could be better